Moments of Clarity: Recognizing Love, The Good Kind

When you come from a family where several social issues dominated part of your childhood, you may find yourself in a situation where you’re unable to recognize good love.  After all, feeling loved and cared for or knowing you’re are/were, is part of being a healthy and fully functional, self-confident human being.  Truly, I believe that love covers a multitude of sins. And to many of life’s’ questions, love is the answer.  This can be self-love or other forms of love that entails nurturing and caring for another.

Moments of Clarity: Respect, Boundaries and Love

It’s been seven months since I’ve returned to Korea to teach for a second time around and well, being here has given me the time, space and energy to pull back the covers of some things that have been a bit of a struggle to deal with in years past.  I decided that I would embrace it all in faith, knowing that in the quiet reflection of life, the answers would come. 

Not too long ago, I read an article on boundaries and to my surprise, I understood it in a brand new light.  

Not surprisingly, people erroneously think of boundaries as being 'walls'.  It’s easy to see how people can confuse having boundaries with putting up walls as the two definitions appear similar at first glance;  a wall being a structure built to keep people out, which can also be called a boundary. 

28 Days of Love: Valentine's Day

Matters of the heart…

It’s 7:23 am.  I’m up and in the fog of transitioning from sleep to awake, I remember…it’s Valentine’s Day!  <3 As I check my Facebook news feed to gander at the valentines days posts and pictures, I take in the messages (some have nothing to do with Valentine’s Day cause Korean Standard Time is about 14 hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time) and I laugh at the “side chick v-day postings”, sigh at the husband that’s been kicked out of bed but left with sexy strawberries dipped in chocolate and smile at the cute mickey mouse pancakes made by a loving wife and mother.

In a few hours, my news feed will flood with new posts and pictures from Valentine’s Day gone either awfully wrong to OMG!, incredibly good.  Being a single woman, I can’t help but feel indifferent.  I have no expectations that won’t be met and even when I think back on Valentine’s Day of years gone by…Valentine’s Day with all the trimmings of jewelry and dinner from an ex-boyfriend, I think to myself, –is it about having something to brag about to your friends? Is it about someone else doing something for you?  –Is Valentine’s Day really about love?

Truly, Valentine’s Day in and of itself is just one day…just like Christmas and New Year’s Eve and well, my birthday.  

Life in Korea: Long Distance Love

Living in Korea, one can't help but notice couples, hand in hand, matching outfits dubbed "couple shirts" and not to mention, young women daintily dressed in the latest fashions out on a date with the boyfriend.  I admit it, it's cute!  My older students here often inquire as to my relationship status, "teacher, you married?" or "teacher you have boyfriend?".  My response leaves them puzzled, if not sad, "oh no, teacher you need boyfriend".  I smile, and I carry on with the day's lesson.  

I often wonder if I could sustain a relationship long-distance.  I know a few people that are presently in long-distance relationships and the only benefit I can think of is, taking time to get yourself right.  Do they intend to take their relationship to the next level.  Is it bound to end because of the distance?  I guess the better question is, what does it take to maintain a healthy and fruitful relationship long distance?