It took many years before I could see who people (family included) for who they really were. Even then, I had a hard time accepting that people (mostly my family) could be so biased, so hateful, so disrespectful, so abusive, so selfish, so evil and well, I didn’t believe it; I couldn’t. After all, why would they be…and so I was deeply conflicted.
As a girl growing up without a mother, I spent much
of my time envying families where although not perfect, love was absolutely
evident. I was at a loss and couldn’t really figure it out what was
missing until I saw how families that genuinely care for each other behave.
Within the last year, I can say I truly came to understand a few things that has made me become more centered in the reality of my life. As a young child, I was rather bright (although few people would acknowledge that), I read a lot and had few friends. I was also very trusting of adults to do the right thing (although few did).
In my dealings with people, I’ve seen that people will purposely leave others out just to see how they respond. Others will be deeply offended over slight misunderstandings and seek revenge. Still others become so jealous which leads to other harmful and manipulative behaviors. It’s the world we live and a very human condition. But what can you do about it? I still haven’t figured out how to deal with this. I mean, do you just give ‘em what they want? Avoid them all together? Do you dull your shine so they can stand out? Oprah needs to do a show about this… <3
Within the last year, I can say I truly came to understand a few things that has made me become more centered in the reality of my life. As a young child, I was rather bright (although few people would acknowledge that), I read a lot and had few friends. I was also very trusting of adults to do the right thing (although few did).
In my dealings with people, I’ve seen that people will purposely leave others out just to see how they respond. Others will be deeply offended over slight misunderstandings and seek revenge. Still others become so jealous which leads to other harmful and manipulative behaviors. It’s the world we live and a very human condition. But what can you do about it? I still haven’t figured out how to deal with this. I mean, do you just give ‘em what they want? Avoid them all together? Do you dull your shine so they can stand out? Oprah needs to do a show about this… <3
Still, in my experience with people, I’m learning
to not give over my power. I’m learning to respect myself and my
limitations. I’m learning to be where the love is, to set boundaries and
above all trust myself and the fact that things will work out for the best.
And while I’m learning to be tolerant of inherent differences in
culture and beliefs and personalities (and everything that goes along with
that), to not give in to the bullshit and pretense and so, I can say that
I have a love for people but most people, that love can only be from a
distance.
I’m okay with that. :-)
“We have to dare to be our-selves, however frightening or strange that self may prove to be.”― May Sarton
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